John Mulaney | The Salt & Pepper Diner
THE BEST JOKE IN EXISTENCE
GOD I JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THIS STORY
This is one of the best pieces of comedy that I have ever had the pleasure of witnessing. I love this. I have been looking for this online for awhile.
"Shit white guys say to Asian girls"
other stupid, creeper shit white men say to asian girls:
"hey, i’m the most powerful, financially able and respected race in the united states. of course your cute little ass wants to date me!"
"i can make your life so much more successful. i can give you anything you want in life. because i’m white."
"god, i LOVE asian culture. you know why asian women are just so treasurable? it’s the cute, docile way you guys behave. white girls and black girls are getting annoying because they speak their mind and have independent attitudes. i feel like i’m being tossed around. but no. you. asians. youre just dying to serve, arent you? its in your culture to be submissive. its sO HOT."
"why would you be with a wimpy, skinny asian guy with a chopstick dick when you CAN BE WITH ME, MIGHTY DONG."
"i can get you that citizenship, baby. i know you want it."
YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING DISGUSTING I WANT TO SHOVE MY CHOPSTICKS INTO YOUR PISSHOLE UNTIL IT GOES UP THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF YOUR DICK THEN ILL SNAP IT IN HALF
holy fuck! so how did the penguins taste?????
this is the cutest video in the entire world. this seal is just so afraid for this dumb weird baby she thinks she’s found out in the ocean. have a bird. have another bird. no, see, eat the bird! the bird is food! why won’t this stupid baby eat. open your mouth you idiot baby i will feed you bird if it’s the last thing i do
Proper knife technique if anyone was wondering what I going on about.
I’m still not sure what Pot of Greed does
Hey guys! Here’s a good, FREE art program with some amazing fluid features! Go to 7:00 to see some examples of how the program works.
If Photoshop is too expensive for you, this program—Verve—might be just the ticket! And I swear, people are getting texture effects I’ve never seen come out of Photoshop proper.
Even if you don’t feel like you need it, recommend it to your friends who might! It does require a fairly recently graphics card, but the size of the program itself is very small, so if you have a laptop for example it might be just the thing.
mother of god O_O
This looks utterly mindblowing.
A FUCKING WHOLE NEW WORLD. I’M GOING TO BUY IT.
Here is the link of the product information: http://store.sony.ca/vaio-duo-13-convertible-touch-ultrabook-zid31-SVD13215CD//cat-31-catid-All-Convertible-Duo
All-girl barber shop quartet nails it!
Guys. Guys… Did I ever tell you how much I love barbershop quartets and women who can sing? Oh geez. This is too much.
HALEY LOOK WHAT SHOWED UP ON MY DASH!
Guys…. I don’t think you understand how unbelievable this is… There was not one intonation problem in this entire performance. That’s…. well it’s …
i’m here for this
Reblogging again just to emphasize: These ladies are singing an extreeeeemely complex arrangement, and their intonation and tempo is so clean it shines. I just. Can’t. Stop. Watching it.
listen to it!!!!!